It is funny how as I get older my taste in fairytales changes. When I was six years old, I loved Cinderella. The story had it all...a story about a poor girl who worked very hard and one day was blessed by a visit from a fairy godmother who gives her the opportunity to meet her prince charming at the midnight ball. Yes, the prince, like in most fairytales, saves poor Cinderella from her hardworking, dull and desolate life. Of course now I would prefer a fairytale in which the poor working woman saves herself and ends up ruling the kingdom due to her brains and hard work.

 

But every once in a while I admit I need some help. Today Olivia and I were playing with a magnetic board that has a prince, page, dragon, and a knight...you know all the typical characters in the typical fairytale. I was regurgitating  some of the stories I remembered from my childhood using the little figures to act out the stories and then I got to thinking is this the best way for me and Olivia to play? I should change the stories. You know make the maiden or the princess the one who does the saving. But the thing is we all need saving sometimes. We all need a little help. And sometimes Matt is the prince who saves me and sometimes I help him. Matt isn't so fond of spiders so I catch them and put them outside before he crushes them. And well today I was reminded that I too have my own things that creep me out.  It should be a balance. I am happy that my husband gives me that balance.

 

Today I had a total mishap with fruit flies. I flipped out. I was about to make "bahbah" (soup in Olivia tongue) and as I reached for the onions, a bunch of bugs landed on me. I pulled the whole bin down onto the floor and there were bugs everywhere. I freaked out. I don't know why. I am not usually so squeamish. I just left it there and grabbed some crackers to hold Olivia over for a few while I called Matt. I wasn't expecting him to come home and save me. I realize that would be a lame thing for me to expect. I just wanted to talk to someone for a a minute to get my mind calmed down. For some reason all I could think is I was about to feed my daughter bugs. I was about to poison my daughter with little nasty black bugs. I called Matt  and you know he is a good guy. He just offered to come home for lunch and help take care of it. He didn't even hesitate.

 

So yah some fairytales are bunk. Really the whole concept of fairytales is a bit bunk because nobody lives happily ever after. You have to work at life and relationships to make it happy and it is an ongoing thing. So no I am not necessarily going to change every fairytale to some supper modern women feminist thing but I am going to slip in a little more reality when retelling the stories. Little girls need to know that they don't always have to be saved but like all people, boys and girls, men and women, they also need to know that we all need a little help sometimes.

Okay it is day 29. The newscasters stopped counting Sunday because we had an actual "sunbreak" , but don't let them fool you. It drizzled and well, even when it didn't, there was only a hint of blue in the sky for part of the day and the rest turned into a rolling gray mass of ominious clouds threating to open up and dump down on us at any moment. I went outside for twenty minutes and stood there pretending that there was sun and staring really intensely at the blue trying desparately to imagine what the skyline might look like if it was actually painted that nice, bright blue color all over. The fact is it has been raining every day, on and off, and sometimes constantly for twenty-nine, let me say that again, t-w-e-n-t-y-nine days... ENOUGH already.

 

Olivia was actually whinning because it was raining again today. We used to go for a walk every day in the summer and at least every few days in the fall but now it just rains all the time. I still take her out. We still attempt to take a walk but it ends up being a very messy affair after about 10 minutes and sometimes I don't want to go out only to come back 10 minutes later feeling like a wet dog.

 

Yes, it rains. I knew that when I moved here. Those of us who have been  in Seattle a while have come to accept rain and plan on it always raining with the exception of the three (yep, count em folks), whole solid months of awesome, paradise lost, write-home-to-your-mother-and-brag weather we get in the summer. The summer is divine. AND the rest of the time it will probably rain at least a little but there are these things called sunbreaks (no joking, the weather people call them that). Sunbreaks are just what they sound like--you might get a break for an hour or even most of the day from the constant drizzle. This is something that happens in winter. In the spring and summer you usually get a few nice days a week or at least a lighter shade of gray with less clouds and very minor rain. The thing is this IS the rainny season but it usually stops for a couple of days here and there. There is usually AT LEAST ONE day of sun every couple of weeks.

 

Twenty-nine days of rain will make you a bit insane. There is no way around that one. AND believe me you can see it on people's faces...parents just grunt at each other in the library because we are all smooshed in there desperate for something to do, some place to go in the hopes of meeting another adult and god forbid, having a surface-friendly conversation. But the fact is even though we are all there suffering together the conversations fall to the floor with a big, disappointing thud after the general conversation of the weather is so la la and the baby is this old, this tall, says this much. It is as if none of us can muster up the courage to admit that it sucks right now because to say it out loud might actually mean it is real. I mean what are we going to talk about, the weather? <<What is the point in that? Bad day out there, huh? Sure is. Boy wish the rain would stop. Yeah, I usually get sick of it by the end of February but here we are smack in the middle of January and well, I am losing my mind! And great we only have 3 more months of constant rain to go. Yeehah!>>

 

So this is why there are more anti-depressants prescribed here than anywhere else in the country. And yes, this is why we all have to have a coffee buzz to survive!

 

All there is left to say is: <<Rain, rain go away! Don't you come back here no more no more. Hit the road, and don't you come back no more!>> And the irony folks is that Aachen, Germany, the place  we are moving to, rains just as much. That's right. Just as much!!! But at least in Germany I can drive 2 hours and be in a completely different country. Ugh! So I will stop my ranting now. I am done. Yep. You don't want to hear it and I don't want to talk about it. Rain is definitely a conversation killer!