Okay now that I know I am leaving I feel so much more liberated. I am enjoying being here again. I love the little cobblestoned town square and the local farmer and flower market they have on Tuesdays and Thursdays is right out of a postcard. I love the old buildings with the really intricate stone carvings of lions, saints, maidens, and flowers. I love the Old Dom where Charlemagne is burried. I love the bread (this I love too much) and the awesome Belgian chocolates (another thing I need to limit)-- I can get this in the little market down the street from me. Oh and I love the beer but really how much of that can a nursing mother have? (I still have one here and there but only after I nurse--I promise)

 

So funny how when you change your perspective you suddenly feel so much better about life. Don't get me wrong: I still want to go. I still miss my family and friends and that is not going to change. But I don't want to go just yet. I want to soak it all up. I want to get out of my house that I was stupidly sitting in for the last few months and see Deutschland. I will miss it. I know that. I am in for reverse culture-shock. I know that too. I have been reading about that: reverse culture shock is a real shocker.

 

I went for a nice walk up to the center today and walked through the market with my big fat red souped up stroller (we recently added a 'buggy board', which is a skateboard you attach to the back of a stroller so your toddler can stand on it while you push the baby around town). I brougjht a travel mug with tea, bought some Rosininbrotchen (raisin mini-breads), and then sat down by the Dom and stared at all the people dressed so nicely (people like to be pretty fashionable around here) while they all strolled by on their busy or in many cases not so busy day. It was so nice to sit and breathe in the air of yummy Printen (a specaility of the area which is ginerbread-like cookie). I resisted the cookies today but tomorrow I might just break down and get one. Hey you only live once. In fact there is this great little shop I know of that makes the best Printen hands down or maybe I just like the women that work their in their cute red and white striped smocks and they have all be so nice and so friendly and so helpful whenever I go in. Well anyways I am trying to enjoy life for what it is.

 

At the end of the day I am trying to live in this moment. I will take my Dharma walks and see Aachen for what it is and all its beauty. Be in the here and now.  Life is better that way. Tchsuss!

We are starting to settle in. Funny that i say that now that it has been over a year here in Germany. I have to tell you, if you ever live abroad, expect that the first year will be hard but it does get easier. The thing that has really made things better is the cool neighbors we have living in our apartment building.

 

On Easter Friday,  someone left a nice Easter bunny and other treats for our daughter Olivia. I am pretty sure it was the nice retired couple that lives a floor down from us. We really appreciated that because well I was in the middle of giving birth on Easter Friday and we hadn't planned to do anything special for Easter. Olivia thought it was great because it seemed as if the Easter bunny really did come to visit her.

 

Then a few weeks ago a neighbor stopped by to give us a little toy for Taylor. It was very nice of her. A week later another neighbor came by with gifts for both Olivia and Taylor. That was so nice considering I dont know her that well but it really made me feel welcomed. I mean I totally didn't expect that. Of course I did feel a little bad that she saw me in my pjs and my house a wreck. I am so paranoid about my neighbors seeing my messy house. Seriously their hosues don't ever seem messy. They have spotless houses and toddlers and babies. I don't know how...and they all get their kids down at like 7:00 pm no dilly-dallying around on the dot bedtime. Of course I also hear some serious crying and stomping going on so I guess maybe I am a little bit too forgiving with Olivia's bedtime. But hey the point of all this is this neighbor I am just startig to know came by and gave us gifts. That was really nice and it sure makes us feel a lot better about being here. I still have my days but things like that, they make a HUGE difference.

The other day Matt, Olivia, and I went for a nice stroll down to the main square by the Rathaus (city hall) and had a nice lunch. Olivia passed out in her stroller (the cobblestones will lull anyone to sleep after a while...and it was her naptime). Once Olivia fell asleep, Matt and I sat out under the covered outside seating and listened to the local college students jam out classical music and not so classical music (anyone for buggle drummed Santana?). The students had set up a little band outside the 680 A.D. old Dom (cathedral) where Charlemagne is burried. There are a lot of students back in town these days because the universities are in full swing and we got to see hordes of them swarming around town. It is fun to watch them walk by and see the latest fashions. The latest is a flashback to the early 80's: leggings under mini-skirts with pink socks and striped shirts. Guess we are going back to the 80's again? Not I...I did the poofed hair too much then and I am certainly NOT doing it again.

 

That little scene made me realize how much we have taken for granted living here. It is a very nice place here. Germany has a lot to offer. Things are organized and rich with old traditions and solidly built beautiful buildings. This is the land where fairytales came from and up and down the Rheine, you can see some of those very same castles we all read about in Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, and so on and so forth. Yes Deutschland is a beauty to behold. Just this morning Matt walked down to the local Backerei (bakery) and got some fresh baked bread and then he stopped off and got really good cheese for just a few euros(something in the States that would cost 3 times as much).

 

Sure there is some terrible history but there is so much more here. That makes a lot of the older people somber and even at times scornful. I am starting to understand that better. As an American that grew up in the 80's, what do I know about wars and hardship? How would I know what it feels like to watch all the old beautiful things around me get bombed? Yes, they had a terrible leader but who's to say our cowboy President is all that great or someone all that to be proud of ? Terrible things happened but Germany is working on learning from those things and working to change things for the better. No, we can't forget, surely not. But there is so much more that Germany should be proud of: like how it was able to rebuild itself into a strong, economical force in just 50 years; it gives its people healthcare and provides German lessons for foreigners; and parents get kindergeld (money for their children from the government) no matter where they come from. Yes, I think more Americans should come here and experience the true charm of Germany. I am lucky I get to experience it almost every day. We got to sit back after our meal and enjoy a nice cup of coffee and apple struedel.  No one rushed us along. Taking time to sit and watch the people walk by is a given and I plan to take full advantage of it while I am here. So here's to Germany, where I call home.

I was just thinking that culture shock is an okay category but what about when the shock is not shock anymore? I think it should be culture shock and adjustments. See there are things that are different. Sure of course. But here is the thing: there are some great things that are different.

 

I went shopping for a dress for a friend's wedding that we are going to in Scotland. Olivia has been sick and can't be around other kids. I too have been trying to kick something we all picked up in Nice. I think moving here is attacking our immune systems--new place, new things to combat. Anyways I walked around for a few hours and when Olivia fell asleep, I went into a boutique. I tried a lot of department stores and stuff...nothing was working. The woman in the shop was totally honest with me, honest like you want a good girlfriend to be like when you go shopping and put something god awful on just to see if she will tell you the truth. I put a few things on that were clearly not for me and you know, she just said "Nope. Don't like it. It doesn't give you enough shape." Plain and simple. It was great. I can't stand it when you have to play the game of pretending that you like something okay enough even though you know it shows every roll you don't want to show. This woman would say "No not that one. That is for someone who is taller." She gave it to me straight up. Eventually I found the right skirt. Of course she wanted me to get a jacket and stuff to go with it, but well, I was honest too. I wanted the skirt but the jacket was more than I wanted to spend. We compromised and I think we found the right outfit. I am just happy that I can feel a bit more comfortable here. I can be honest and so can other people. Maybe it is not just a German thing versus an American thing but well I am finding that people here from my experience are very honest. I like that.